Raising a family is not at all easy. It is not restricted for providing basic necessities but also furnishes manners, values and beliefs. When both father or mother raise a child their words, actions, behaviours do affect children and it applies to other family members also. The way elders discuss, have conversations over the phone or the way they treat other people is a direct reflection of their personality which is not only observed by children but also influence their personality.
Kiran is the only child of his parents studying in sixth standard. He bullies at school, and when their seating arrangements get shuffled nobody wants to sit next to him. He calls others by nicknames, says lies, interrupts when people are talking, tears others books when angry, sometimes takes others things without asking their permission, doesn’t have any friends and always complaints. His parents are most of the time asked to come to school. So how do children develop these habits despite supplying all the necessities?
Communication between parents
There are approvals, disapproval and sometimes silence or violence. However, soon after anything there is a patch up either by forgiving the other or forgetting what had happened. But in few families the kind of arguments are emotionally burdensome or annoying. Children pick up the phrases and words if they frequently witness unhealthy communication and either get affected by it or imitate/experiment with the vulnerable group/person.
The way you treat your spouse
No matter whether it is father or mother, the way you treat them can influence the child a lot. For instance how do you care when your partner falls sick or the words you use when there is a fight, the way you share things with each other, help each other or stand by when there are difficulties are always noticed by your child. So if you think, I can just tell my child not to fight or say bad words but you do the same thing, then it’s waste of time.
Honesty
Be honest with your words, no matter whether you are at fault. Human beings are not at all perfect. We all make mistakes. So instances like you are being late to parent’s meetings or cancelling of any outings can be managed by telling the truth by being honest with yourself. You need not pretend that everything is just fine in front of your child. Let he/she understand that there will be uncertainties, errors but there is always a way to communicate it in a better way.
Never treat your spouse as a subordinate
Both the partners have equal right when it comes to household work or financial conditions. Doing laundry, cleaning the house, and cooking can be managed by both the partners. So, never bring the phrases such as “Boys do not cook” or “Girls should learn cooking in order to get married.” This is how you create a difference in them, and if you raise them with the same mindset, they believe that it is true and expect the same from their partner.
Abuses damage mental health
Every relationship is not always as sweet as sugar candy. You taste the bitterness too. When a child sees continuous bitterness such as his/her parent’s involving in verbal or physical abuse, neglectful attitude towards their child, he/she tend to start isolating himself/herself from their world. They start to seek attention outside such as school or neighbourhood. If there is no or less attention, it is obvious to misbehave or try to be different from others so that his/her needs are fulfilled in some way. In few cases children model the parent’s behaviour and become anti-social.
However there are peer influences, and children’s interaction with other people also matters as far as their behaviour is concerned. Yet as a parent be conscious and remind yourself that you are raising a beautiful human being who may deserve a wonderful childhood. This can be the best you can give to your child as well as focus on bettering your relationship with your spouse too.
