News Karnataka
Thursday, February 09 2023
Brian's Subtle Humour

Talent Needs An Equi-valent Equation To Add Value!

Talent Interviews
Photo Credit : Pexels

Harsh Goenka shared a unique Ad By a Gujarat School Seeking Math Teachers. There is no number on it. Rather a math equation that those interested in applying for the post are supposed to figure out and call. This is supposed to act as a natural screening filter for candidates (they can save on a written test) and also test the candidates’ knowledge of the subject.

Teacher Ad

Jugaad, as always is eminently possible in these desperate times of unemployment – a candidate can always get the problem solved, make the call, and even land the job if his interviewer is as incompetent as he! Or if he is one of the few candidates that make the call, which is quite possible, given the knowledge quotient vs return on knowledge equation.

There was always the possibility of a student at the same school, having learnt under the previous math teacher solving the problem and seeking a teacher’s post. Now that would be a first! It does not say anything about not using the computer or mobile to solve the equation and why should it? It’s a part of our daily lives even if a math teacher! And the tweets that followed displayed the genius that exists.

Moral of the tweet. “A smart recruiter is sure to get a smart employee,” expressed one tweeter on Twitter!

This tweet presupposes that the recruiter is smart! And that may be presumptuous. Smart recruiters are quite rare – Else why would so many people be terminated for poor performance after they join? Maybe it’s not their fault, as they were unable to assess the fit! Because today it’s all about Fitness, the new obsession of Corporates and Individuals. Daily Yoga is important. Either one has to bend it like Beckham!

The question that corporates want answering when they put out ads like this, is whether the talent – and everybody has a bit of it like  Mambo No. 5, fits like a foot does the shoe. When you go out shopping for a shoe, you test whether it fits, but after a while, it starts to bite, become tight – figuratively of course, and wear and then tear. Is it time to throw it away and buy a new one that fits like a glove? Yea. For a while. Then the gloves are off! And all is fair in darkness and sunlight!

For the shoe in the shop, it takes the first buyer, it fits – even marginally.

Creative advertising is not new, but hiring creatively, even while removing a layer of the process, is smart because seeking employment is a mass movement – Just check out the number of applications received for government jobs whatever they may be. Police, Administrative, Engineering, Teaching – any branch. Of course, they are aware of which branches have more fruits than others. They also have to nurture the roots if they want to pluck the fruits.

Yes, they are popular! Surely ads like this instead of those boring notifications with Min Qualifications – which everyone maxes out with minimal knowledge, can help filter the chalk from its powder!

But why is it that government jobs – even if they are quasi-Government – are so popular, and getting one is a queasy rather than easy peasy? The filtering process is long and arduous, with as many layers as a Photoshopped image, and twists and turns as a Western Ghat Road, but in the end, the ones that are found meritorious by the system with little inbuilt merit find it worth their while in more ways than one. As do the recruiters.

For one there is security – much much more than a security guard can ever hope to have, for there is a cost-of-living allowance called Dearness Allowance. I truly love the name assigned, even though the very name of the allowance sends a shiver down the spine – because now things are bound to go up rather than down – How can you reduce an allowance that is aligned to prices and designed to go only one way – up?  As regards, those they serve, well that survey has yet to be conducted.

Perhaps a similar ad can be created for politicians wanting to contest seats – they must solve an equation related to public administration before they are given a party ticket.

Something like this

Ticket = Sq. root of (GDP*Rate of Unemployment/ Population) *(Per Capita income / Per Capita Debt) * (Rate of Inflation-Bank Deposit Interest Rate) / Direct + Indirect Taxes – Cost of Welfare schemes for Taxpayers / Tax Collection expenditure

This is a random ChatGPT devised equation! Believe me, if you can! The answer once found will astound!

These unique recruitment ideas and methodologies are coming together on the back of massive layoffs that have as yet not affected the Govt Sector and may never ever!

The five Big Tech Giants and the smaller ones that came up in the pandemic – like a pandemic – and hired people left right and centre, are now announcing – with not much regret that they are laying off people on a percentage basis – all because they miscalculated.

According to a media report, Amazon, Alphabet (Google), Microsoft, Meta and Apple – five giants of big tech – increased their payrolls by a total of one million people over the last three years. But now, these firms have dismissed or are going to dismiss (layoff is a nice word) a total of more than 50,000 workers. The only tech giant not to have announced major layoffs is Apple and that is because they didn’t hire too many. There were too few apples to go around. They knew their share of their market and stuck to it.

“We hired for a different economic reality than the one we face today,” Sundar Pichai – the CEO of Google – acknowledged in his message to staff when he announced that the company is cutting 12,000 jobs.

All this when the US labour market is the best that it has been in some time – a 3.5% unemployment rate, which is the lowest in 50 years and is half India’s, but that half consists of a lot of Indians – because they work with their heads and not their hands.

They are techies mostly on H1B visas doing what the Americans do (There is no real American like there is no real Brit these days). Consumers these days in America, prefer doing rather than clicking, visiting a store rather than ordering online, going to a restaurant rather than swiggying, reading a book rather than downloading one, and studying at the university rather than at home.  India though still has the pandemic hangover and is still able to protect its tech jobs.

So costs remain high, while revenues can’t compete just as in government and its jobs – So is layoffs in government the answer to a fiscal deficit?

Maybe! You decide. They are the only entity that is immune to economic roller coasters. They are like table coasters. They hold your glass rock steady, while you sip!

Cover Photo by Kindel Media

Disclaimer

This Article is written in a lighter vein. It hopes to bring a smile to your face, and you must not ascribe motives to its contents. There is no connection to events and characters in real life and if perchance you find a connection with any such real-life event or character, rest assured i

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Brian Fernandes

Brian is an alumnus of Roshni Nilaya’s Post Graduate School of Social Work, HR Department and has 30 years of local and international HR and General Management experience. Journalism, poetry, and feature writing is a passion which he is now able to pursue at will. Additionally, he loves compering and hosting talk shows. He loves learning and imparting it; so, when time permits, he provides leadership facilitation and soft skills training to Postgraduate students and Corporates in Mangaluru and Bengaluru. Besides, he is an accomplished Toastmaster under the aegis of Toastamasters.org and a designated Distinguished Toast Master.

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