You might have noticed small children create a fuss over small things and cry as if it was a huge deal for them, though as elders it seems silly to us. When they try to get attention by creating a fuss, the first common reaction of every parent is to provide what they want or ask for. This immediate gratification may also cause stubborn nature or attention-seeking behaviour.
When a child for instance cries for not finding out the purple shoes or not getting a sandwich for the snack might cry harder. Phrases such as “I can’t find my shoes, you didn’t give sandwich for the snack box,” might keep the parent guilty for not providing the basic need of the child, so you might hurry up with the process of satisfying the child’s needs/wants. However, in this process, you have forgotten a very important thing, which is not validating the child’s feelings but satisfying the immediate needs. Though they cry for silly things, it is important to validate their feelings at that moment and focus on how do they proceed with the goal instead of whining or crying.
Don’t do this: I know that I have not kept the sandwich in the snacks box, let me provide you right now.
Instead do this: I know that you are upset that I didn’t prepare a sandwich, but this time you need to eat what you find in the box, next time surely I will buy it for you.
If the child starts to cry even after hearing those words if he/she eats whatever she finds, you won the game. You have not entertained the attention-seeking behaviour, instead, here you need to validate their feelings at that moment and make them feel okay about it. This matters a lot and also they value their feelings and express them in the right way when this habit becomes practiced.
Your child’s intense emotional reaction to a little disappointment is not necessarily tied with sadness and it is not a measure of his/her level of disappointment with the situation. When they fail to focus on what is important /big/small and thereafter the emotional breakdown will act as a barrier to expressing their feelings. Once you oblige their feelings, it is easy for them to go forward with their ideas/thoughts without making a fuss about it.
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