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Thursday, September 28 2023
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Know “The Five love languages” of your children

Ramya Know your child 15112021
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Children need to be loved in order to be adequate functioning individuals. When they receive love from their primary caregivers, it makes them mentally strong, physically healthy and thus their social well-being becomes more profound in nature. Children who lack or receive less love tend to be constantly thriving for it, and thus either become socially detached or lack empathy.

Surprisingly, children have their own love languages that every parent can relate with them, this bringing a lot difference in a parent-child relationship.

Herebelow let us have a look at the five love languages of children

1) Physical touch

Hugs, kisses, a pat on the shoulder are the common way of expressing this love language. When father hugs or mother kisses or a grandmother pats on the shoulder the child feels a sense of affection and warmth. Thus it emotionally connects to caregivers. However, physical touch differs from child to child, where few kids do not like to be touched (due to personality or other factors) whereas few expect this often from parents.

2) Words of affirmation

While communicating with the child words play an important role. Few rude or harsh words can ruin their bonding, however, few children expect that they need to be praised or pampered with kind words. At times no matter whether their behaviour is pleasant or unpleasant, kids want to be consoled through affection. Affirmative phrases such as “You are a good boy/girl” or “You are strong” makes a positive impact that keep them motivated for the lifetime.

3) Quality time

Few parents wonder even after fulfilling all the necessities of a child still he/she complains, and the reason is simple! In most cases, the child desperately need parents’ attention. They want to spend qualitative time with their parents no matter what the occasion (PTA meeting, annual day programme etc.). Without any distraction giving your 100% of time to the child is the most challenging task. But remember this is one of the love languages most children desperately need. Taking children out for dinner, playing with them, listening to them when they have queries, helping children in their homework makes the child feel that he/she is the most important person in your world and communication between parent and child becomes healthy.

4) Giving/Receiving gifts

Who do not like to get gifts/presentations? Even at workplace you receive bonus, and salary hike among others to keep the employee motivation high. But in children’s case this love language makes them feel that love towards their parents/caregivers. When they receive gifts (chocolates, toys, gratitude cards), it makes them the proud daughter/son. It also motivates them to do better. As a result your bond with them become more strong.

5) Act of service

When your child calls you to fix the bicycle tyre or to tie the shoe lays he/she is expecting you to be part of the work he/she is doing. Sometimes child might chop the vegetables, clean the kitchen or even bring water to wash the car. This kind of services are one of the most important love languages that children expect from parents. Understanding how sensitively you respond to the child’s request call to fill the love tank also matters.

Thus, the five love languages are important for every child. Few children need all five of them where as few make one as the primary love language.

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Ramya E.

The author is a counselor and lifeskills trainer who has trained over 2000 students. She holds an M.Sc. in Psychology.

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