When children being stubborn for every little words you say, antagonise your words, ignore the important instructions, you need to understand one thing, that your child is facing power struggle. Both parents and children are in battle, when there are differences in opinion to complete the task. Both are defensive about their comments. Children might refuse to do a task and parents insist them to do it right now.
This power struggle enables children to likely avoid listening to instructions and gain control over others. They act indifferently and do have confusions to choose the right because arguments and denying are common when they are told to do something.
The arguments and yes/no battles can be continued during their teenage which can be quite dangerous to avoid.
So, how parents can handle these power struggles and be one another’s supporters. Here are few tips.
Instead of ordering, teach them to choose
Children feel overwhelmed when there is continuous orders from parents. Do it now, why don’t you do it, kind of phrases always doesn’t sound well. Instead give them choices in such a way that they need to complete the task. For instance instead of, Wash your clothes now itself, say, would you wash your clothes before your online class or after. Make sure you have received firm answer and get the work done from them.
Define the goal properly
When children argue about chores as why only I have to do, can’t you say siblings too. It is normal that parents tend to lose their calm and become rigid. Instead communicate why the work needs to be done and how you can help them complete it.
Let them see the consequences
Children need to understand what happens when certain things are not accomplished, let them face the consequences. For instance children can argue when parents are telling to wear a jacket while playing outside due to cold weather, and they might ignore it and so the consequence will be understood when they catch cold or cough.
At times it is okay to get the things done by asking to do them, but not all the time. Parents need to understand one thing that you are disciplining your child to become self sufficient which means while your child also needs to become independent adult. When parents disrupt their choices everytime, it can badly affect in later adulthood stage. So let us understand these differences and work towards their better future.
Image by Daria Obymaha