Mangaluru has a sizeable Christian and Catholic population that celebrates Christmas with traditional fervor combined with a modern nuance. It sets the benchmark for Christmas celebrations in Karnataka. Over the years, with the breakup of the joint family and even dispersal of the nuclear family to distant lands, the nature of the celebrations have changed dramatically. Yet it is still an occasion that brings family members together to catch up with each other, exchange love and give love to less fortunate brethren. Brian Fernandes examines how things have changed.
I feel so fortunate to have my family with me throughout the year, but especially, at Christmas time. Coz’, the Christmas season has always produced butterflies in my belly, that is until I met my wife, and then they came with compliments of the season. A double delight, so to say.
Christmas, rather than Easter was always special in terms of the spirit it generated, the decorations it invented, the clothes it demanded to be stitched (there were few ready-mades then) and the fun at family reunions it promised.
In the days of yore, Jesus was born at midnight, carols were sung or played at the church as a precursor to the Holy mass and going for midnight mass, as it was called then, required a lot of planning and forethought – transport was dependent on the feet at the end one’s legs,or pooling with a neighbor, a cousin etc.- easier to come by in those days than now, despitethe options having quadrupled!
The parish church or the firguz,was the favored locationfor the midnight mass, for a variety of reasons – out of a sense of loyalty, devotion, proximity and the fancy fete following the mass which lasted until the wee hours of the Christmas morning. While the teens stayed back on the pretext of volunteering or participating,the parents hurried home –In anticipation of a busy Christmas morning getting the family lunch ready.
The St. Aloysius College, too was a focal point of many a Mangalorean Catholic who were drawn to its crisp services and its open air ambience, especially those who had the wherewithal to traverse the distance at the dead of night. Here the line blurred between the outstanding, the understanding and the devout Catholics all standing together for a common cause – the celebration of the birth of our savior.
Among the spiritual treats, there were confessions, retreats and the mass itself. Being an altar server, member of the choir, a volunteer, or a member of a carol singing group was a matter of pride for the participants and their parents. It was often the subject of tittle-tattle during ward tete- a-tetes.
The Sprit of youth and Christmas was found in the many carol singing groups that went around. Parents couldn’t say no to their teens, going out late at night during the season – after all it was a for a good cause and being a part of a group gave them the sense of affiliation, affection and acceptance, and by extension, the parents too. And it was fun, it really was.
New clothes for the midnight mass and the Christmas get-togethers that followed, whether they were family weddings or otherwise, were an early talking point between parents, but always away from the keen ears of the children, who egged their mothers on to win the battle for them. Fathers were the ones who were at the receiving end of a two pronged attack. As the date for the shopping expedition approached, the excitement mounted. The family shopping for clothes was a much anticipated event among textile shop owners too. Cloth was bought whole sale – one set for the girls and one set for the boys, the colors the same, the patterns the same and often stitched to fit by the senior members of the family itself (especially for the girls in the family), the exercise going on till half an hour before departure for midnight mass. Men’s Tailors, Adarsh Tailors, Star tailors to name a few, were a much sought after commodity. Their dates were precious and regular customers always got preference over pure Christmas customers…. Though they were never turned away – that would be bad for business!
Those were the days of long hair, bell bottoms, broad belts and platform shoes for the gents. And for the ladies, the gowns which as the years went by had less and less cloth attached to them – the ankle length gown gradually became the midi (which was indeed music to the male) and then the mini. It never reached the nano, at least then.
The butterflies returned as I woke up late on a Christmas morning – I’ve always had a belly full of them to feed off the pork sorpathel, roast chicken, the sannas and appams. In Mangalore, come Christmas, the pigs fed well and with affection until then, suffered the most, but they were committed to our enjoyment. I don’t hold any brief for them, for if I did, I would be vegetarian.
The Christmas cake was rarely baked at home, for want of an oven, or the lack of knowledge of the right proportions of its mix, though attempts were made in some homes, with comical results. Kuswar, the Christmas sweets, on the other hand, often was. Of the Kuswar, I liked the non sugared kidio the best and walloped a quite a few in the making itself. That was another part of the joy – the making of kuswar, sitting cross legged on the ground using combs not for the long hair that adds beauty to a woman, but for embossing a flat piece of dough. Oh the simple joys.
The beauty of Christmas was that, where two or more Mangalorean Catholics gathered, the spirit was in their midst. The spirit was so dense, that they often began to speak in tongues. Orators became singers and vice versa. Laughter was plentiful, spontaneous and ostentatious. It was the time for late nights and late mornings – No worms were ever caught during the Christmas season. But it was always good fun.
Those were the days of large families, and the larger the family, greater was the joy. Extended Family weddings were generally arranged during the week prior to, and the week following Christmas and these were, like the Christmas lunch itself, an occasion to reunite, laugh with, and at each other and share presents, love and the difficult moments during the year. Large families like the one my wife was from, was the norm. My marriage introduced me to the joys of a large family and a culture shock of immense proportions. After all, I was a small family boy. I soon got lost, before I found myself again.
Times were financially limited, but spiritually abundant.In families, big or small, Prayer was compulsory, obligations were meant to be fulfilled, and duties were imperative. And thetrue spirit of Christmas always prevailed.
It almost always began with the Christmas cards which were hand written and posted – an elaborate exercise, followed by putting up the Christmas decorations – the buntings, the balloons, the bulbs, the tree and the star to give direction to our celebrations – all in a day’s work for the entire family, bar the teenager in the family J who had other things to think about. Thank God there were no mobiles or whats app then. The Christmas star at home, attracted Santa until I was about 13 or 14. Legends were sustained, maybe with difficulty, but with joy….
And last but not the least, there was no mistaking the twitter and the glitter among the twitterati and the glitterati – the one and only New Year’s ball at the Ladies Club which was debated from the 24th onwards.
What has changed?
For one, Mangalorean society has transited from Gen X (those born between 1960 and 1980) to Gen Y (those born between 1980 and 2000) to Gen Z (those born between 2000 and 2010). Mangalore has become Mangaluru, and moved along from being a municipality to a corporation, from a one street town to a multi street one, yearning for a ring road. Along the way, it has picked up a lot of entrepreneurs from itself converting a conservative banking town into an education, medical, manufacturing and IT hub.
While Mangalore is connected to the world through its newly christened International Airport, families in our city of Mangalore have separated, some from within, some from their extended families and some from their roots and migrated around the world. Christmas is still the time for reunions, and the joy of these reunions is still palpable.
The Midnight mass has advanced, both in its time window and its duration, much to the delight of Gen Y and Z. It is now called the Christmas celebration, and held between 7.30 PM and 9 PM, culminating in time for the commencement of the various dances that follow, to usher in the birth of our Lord in the city. The spirit of going for a midnight mass seems to have dimmed as the neons’ grow brighter….Conversely; spirituality has grown in leaps and bounds. This is evident in the devoted crowds seen at every religious event pre Christmas, from retreats to confessions and the Christmas celebrations itself in the increased locations around the city.
Gen Y and Gen Z, by the very nature of their personalities, need to be constantly engaged, and our parishes conduct numerous activities to keep them so, from carol singing competitions to crib making competitions and the fancy fete in between. But are they really? Is there any motivation in them or are they going through the motions? Hard to tell. Carol Singing groups do still go around but the anticipation of their arrival is muted, and their motivation seems questionable.It’s probably still fun though.
The fun has gone out of shopping though – there are no joint expeditions like before, just a couple at a time and sometimes single journeys into the pre-determined– everything is available on line and delivered at home – No sweat, no joy, except when they are worn. And Kuswar, there are no hands, and the volumes are too small to make it economically viable to make at home- Why keep a cow, when milk is available in sachets? Oh, are we missing something here?
Christmas Decorations? Now, if at all, are restricted to a readymade tree and crib. Easily set up, pleasing to the eye, and most of all, easy to put away post Christmas. Construction has given way to convenience. In these busy days, not a bad thing at all, but it does seem that our children are losing touch with the simple joys that Christmas brings. There are no Christmas cards to write and post, and none to hang on the tree – You can’t hang Emails and whatsapp messages can you?
Family reunions at family weddings / functions are scheduled at Christmas time to bring far flung families together. These seem to be the only remnant of times of yore, but the reunions themselves are getting smaller and smaller as the city goes nuclear – Hopefully there is no melt down soon. Santa Claus does come around and is present at most of our functions, but he does seem a little tired of the modernity perhaps?
The Christmas spirit in all its forms still spreads cheer around the city bringing different communities and different generations of Mangalorean Catholics together, but somewhere along the line; it has metamorphosed from a family genie into a much larger, more amorphous form. The illusion of cheer does remain. Everything is the same, yet different… times change and our lovely city’s Christmas is changing with it.
We must at this point pause to reflect on why Christmas is a time to celebrate.
If we ponder enough, we will realize how difficult it is give someone you love to someone else (it happens only in Bollywood films), even if you are divine. For us human beings, it’s virtually impossible to think on those lines. But God in his magnanimity did just that, making Jesus in our image, not his, because he loved us. And because he loved us, he cared. And because He cared, He shared – His only son with us through an event we call Christmas. What do we learn from this? – When you love, you care, and when you care you share. God didn’t give his only son to us here on earth, only so that we could wine, dine, dance, shop and sing His praises at His birth, till our knees collapsed. He sent his only precious son to teach us the meaning of love, of care and to create the will to share so that we may grow closer to Him. It’s a celebration of family life that tells us our children our precious, as is our neighbor. It’s for us to learn the lessons He taught us and pass them on to future generations.
Christmas as an annual celebratory event in our packed calendars remains, but I believe, (I may be wrong) its true spirit, and its simple joys as we knew them, are missing; hopefully not forever. My earnest appeal – bring them back.
