Am I too old to be asking that question? Never, age is just a number they say. Am I too bold to be asking that question? Never, age just makes you humbler. Or does marriage? – I must know. You also must know if you are at that ‘come pander me’ stage – what some of us, call the companionship stage.
Why would anyone want to get married is a question that troubled me / excited me – I can’t say which – as I saw the rising number of matrimonials in the newspaper that I read online – I don’t buy the newspaper – not anymore because the ads are mostly matrimonials… or obituaries!
But I do read the online versions, and of course, update my current repository of knowledge through “What’s that app” called? Sorry, seems I can’t recall. Too many apps/naps that I’m addicted to in these difficult times.
The matrimonial ads themselves have evolved from those based on caste and creed – with or without bar attached, to Covid! The groom or the bride, now ask for a fully vaccinated spouse. Not sure if this is because the vaccine is in short supply, or they are scared of the C drive. Sometimes the ad content is misspelled; the big V word is sometimes spelled as “Waxed!” These ads get a lot of responses!
Others are asking if the family has access to a lifetime supply of Masks and proof of connections to obtain oxygen, Remdesivir and Amphotericin-B on demand. Still, others are offering the unpronounceable anti-body cocktail – I call it PinaColada – newly put out by Roche for the full family on request as an incentive!
But to the main question, that I put to myself – I tried roping in my companion to answer the question – but she found the question itself redundant. That is natural until I told her I was researching for an article for Newskarnataka, not an article of faith in the institution which is as strong as it was when I said, “I do” (not, please note, I’ll try!). But the answer I got, was the best I heard in a long time – Silence!
Not having succeeded in eliciting a response from a primary source, I combined some secondary research and opinions of my media friends who were all in the “accompanied” category and tried to answer the question myself – I came to some surprising conclusions. That usually happens when you talk to yourself according to Carl Jung. The name is spelled correctly by the way.
First and foremost, it is the pandemic; external movement without a mask and social proximity is restricted either by self or regulation. This is not restricted at home. People at home are more positive, shall we say?
Secondly, Millennials crave companionship which is not possible with parents these days – the TDGI – They Don’t Get It – syndrome. So even if they resisted the institution earlier, fearing its four walls, now they wanted that roof over their heads; the lifetime supply of masks and oxygen was a bonus of course. Responses also came quicker, given that the walls now had open windows, keeping the enthusiasm for the collaborative project up.
Millennials – the ones putting out the ads – it would seem, see a chance to save on wedding expenses and appropriate the originally estimated bill for themselves from the source of such expenditure. This thought occurred to me for two reasons – I received a wedding invite by what’s app – that told me that due to the restrictions I was invited but not welcome, and secondly, the price of petrol was lunging, not just inching toward the top the Burj al-Khalifa, creating new records!
Another reason perhaps, one more fitting to the occasion, is that the entire process can be done online – from the ad to the due diligence, the horror scope, the courtship, the negotiation, and even the wedding itself. Post that of course, the couple will go offline for a while!
I am aware, that when they go offline and the masks come off, companionship, could transform into comp-onionship, the type that brings tears to the eyes with its root cause-effect. A good example is a guy who opened his windows a little too wide to let the sun in; it rained, and he is ruined!
But it can be overcome. All you need to do, perhaps. is peel the layers and put them on a hot pan while both hold the panhandles. Coordination, Cooperation, and knowing when to hold or let go is the key. Often, it is a panhandler’s choice. The other alternative is to get the masks back on and maintain social distance – Which could lead to more ads.
That will no doubt help the media survive – it’s exceedingly difficult these days – and with it that precious institution – marriage, the only one that welcomes dissent, without dissing the dissenter!
I hope I’ve answered the question, I raised – for your sake!
This Article is written in a lighter vein. It hopes to bring a smile to your face, and you must not ascribe motives to its contents. There is no connection to events and characters in real life and if perchance you find a connection with any such real-life event or character, rest assured it’s purely coincidental.
Image by NatureFriend