Names do matter. There are two madam Anne Hathways and both have a difference of living four centuries apart. While the first Anne Hathway lived at Stratford upon Avon in England more than four centuries ago, the other Anne Hathway is in her forties now and lives in the United States. The former was the wife of William Shakespeare, the English playwright and poet who died in 1616. The modern Anne Jacqueline Hathway is a famous academy award winning actress, who also won the Golden Globe and who acted as Penelope in the famous Christopher Nolan movie The Odyssey, the Greek classic written by Homer.
Anne Hathway, Shakespeare’s wife, was twenty six years old when she married eighteen year old William Shakespeare, when she was three months pregnant. They had three children with the second ones as twins. If Anne was eight years older to William, she lived eight years after the death of William Shakespeare. While she lived in Shakespeare’s village, Stratford upon Avon, Shakespeare mostly lived in London in connection with the staging of his plays as well as their publication.
Despite staying away from Anne, there is no reference to Shakespeare being involved with any other woman even though he had become famous in his lifetime itself. Anne Hathway looked after her three children and also looked after her husband whenever he came home. She did not have any impact on the hundreds of lines of philosophic poetry that Shakespeare wrote.
Anne Jacqueline Hathway, the Penelope of the modern days, the Oscar winner of 2024, is not only one of the most famous and popular actresses but also a person who lives and influences others with her philosophical bent of mind. In April 2024, while speaking in an interview, she made a statement that was noted by the whole world of filmdom and critical thinkers on life’s important philosophical attitudes or thoughtlines that were important for both successful and effective living, both for oneself and others.
Anne Hathway said that pleasing others and desiring their approval for many of the actions that a person does is not always an ingredient of a happy life. Her statement focused on the need for loving oneself as the base for loving others and getting them pleased. She went on to add that while leading a life for one’s own effectiveness, leading to fulfillment, that would not be possible if all the time one has to attend to pleasing others and getting their approval for one’s own actions.
She said that this is an urge within oneself and also a sort of model that the adult world would present to the young, inadvertently indeed, and it is essential that the young have to be taught how to curb this urge. To a question whether such an attitude in relating to others will create self centredness, excessive care for oneself and consequential creation of an arrogance in an individual, she answered that by stating that preserving the self esteem which may look like arrogance to others should not be a matter of concern for an honest individual who functions on one’s own terms.
Her stress was on the desire of people for constant need for external validation.
It is important to remember that a person with a resolute personality and no character disorder, functions normally with a certain amount of definiteness, and a desire for external validation by others, especially those who may not matter at all, has the risk of making it into habitual behaviour. Every time trying to please others and look for consequential acceptance can become a ‘desperate habit’, that is the phrase she used.
The discounting that one may have to do on one’s own personality can have far reaching impacts on further behaviour which may also include decision making and problem solving. These can have far reaching effects, some of which could be personally disastrous.
The stress of the explanations is on the individual’s personality.
The primary need as a foundation for a happy living is not only the creation of one’s own identity but also understanding its various aspects, one of which is the issue of searching for recognition from others which may prove through pleasing them for getting their approval. In the case of people who indulge in both, there could be an indefinite waiting for effective performances. Such waiting can be disastrous not only in the case of administering and organising on the one side and decision making and problem solving on the other.
One does not have to doubt that all four ought to be independent of any pressure, including those which are not easily detectable, from outside the personality of an individual.
Hathway’s statement that if someone who has a natural and effortless love for oneself and cultivates genuine self respect, the empowering processes will help individuals to establish healthy boundaries and make every step of their life resonate with their true selves, is indeed very fundamental for all, especially the youth, to follow.
Her stress on self love should not be seen as an idea of personal glorification because she is speaking about the need for not bothering about pleasing others and getting their approval for the expressions of one’s own personality.
This presupposes that the personality is well grounded and is not trampling upon the personalities of others in their administration, organisation, decision making or problem solving.
While there is a need for taking care of oneself, there is also a need for being just in that taking care by being considerate to others without becoming enslaved to others.
True concern for others can emerge only when there is true peace of mind and an understanding of oneself, even amidst the unavoidable relating that happens in everyday life.
So, all development of individuals has to keep in mind that just as there should be an urge for individual development, there should also be an urge to curb the desire for pleasing others and getting their approval for everything that one does.