It is always a joy to have a chance to be with the professor at home where he and his family were always hospitable to students. On the one hand the meeting is made interesting with a lively conversation and on the other hand the professor’s wife would emerge from her privacy of space quite often with some eatables in a plate and a few glasses of lime juice or tetra pack of drinks.
This time just as we walked in, the professor asked us to sit down, then the call bell rang. When the professor opened the door, a gentleman stood there with a sort of enquiring face and asked “may I enter in?”. Before the professor could say anything, he actually walked in, looked at our faces first, looked at an empty chair, and finally looked at the professor’s face and asked “can I sit?”. With an affirmative answer from the professor, he sat down and said ‘I will take only a couple of minutes and then I want to return back to my house which is at the backside of your college. I have a lot of work and it is always neck to neck. He did not wait for the professor to say anything at all. The professor just looked at the speaker when the latter was looking at the whole room and made a comment ‘actually your drawing room is too good’.
It is then that he looked at me and asked “what is your good name?”. He did not hear my answer so he asked again “I am listening hardly to you, yet I could not hear, will you repeat your name?”
I repeated my name.
He looked at the professor and said “my boss asked me to provide you with this five sheets of printed paper. You are asked to examine them and you are called upon to speak to him today itself”. He gave the sheets to the professor and the latter was glancing at them.
The visitor waited for a little while and said “I have put in my papers, so, I am sure you have assimilated all the points by reading them. One of the paper is more important than the other though there are four of them. The team of people who prepared these papers are from our own office. In fact, there are two of them and both of them are best at work”.
The professor glanced through the papers and told him that he would speak to the latter’s boss. The visitor got up and said “I have to reach there by 12.00 p.m. So, I will vacate now”.
He was getting out of the room, however he turned back and asked the professor “your brother-in-laws are also staying here?”
Professor said that they are not.
As he moved through the door, he looked at the car shed and said “you have a four wheeler and a two wheeler”. The professor nodded his head.
He moved out into the compound, looked at the gate and said “the yellow colour on your gate is making the whole gate very brilliant”.
As he got out of the gate, he said “sir, thank you so much”.
While closing the gate he said “I will reach my house within half an hour and will be with my people and will have my dinner. The only problem that I have in our place is because my house is in the second floor and very often the lift does not work. Many many times I had to walk down or walk up because of this”.
The siren of the factory next blew and I knew it was lunch announcement. As he walked out through the gate, the man turned to the professor and said “I kindly request you to respond to my boss”. Then he said “good night” and walked away.
Our People Speak the ‘Good’ English
After the man left us, there was a hilarious laughter from all of us. The professor had a broad smile on his face as he knew that there would be several questions from the visiting students. It was then that he noticed that one of the visiting students had recorded the conversation of the guest with the professor.
So, he started “how about his first phrase ‘may I enter in’”. The professor said ‘enter actually means ‘getting in’, and therefore, the additional ‘in’ is not necessary.
By then, there was a question from another student. He said “the visitor asked you ‘can I sit?’ Is that correct?”
The professor said ‘the sentence is grammatically correct but in usage it is not correct because ‘can’ refers to somebody’s physical ability of doing. So, the question means whether he has the physical power to enter when he actually means whether he has the permission to get in. So the question ought to be ‘may I enter?’. It is also possible that one can ask ‘could I enter?’ which according to the English usage a respectful way of asking anyone’s permission is.
Another student asked a question about the use of ‘return back’ and ‘backside’. The professor said “‘return’ means ‘going back’, and therefore, there is no need to use the word ‘back’ after the word ‘return’. Similarly, when you refer to a building, we don’t speak about the ‘backside’, it can only be ‘back’”.
The next reference was to his report about the word ‘neck to neck’. The professor said “it should be ‘neck and neck’”.
What about the use of the word ‘too good’? one of the students asked. The professor said “’too’ has to be used with an explanation after that”. He gave an example of the same phrase that the visitor used ‘drawing room is too good’. It had to be ‘the drawing room is too good that quite a good number of people could be accommodated here’. So, whenever one speaks using ‘too’ it needs a compliment of explanation”.
The visitor’s question to one of us to say what his ‘good name’ was, also attracted an explanation from the professor. He said all names are good, therefore, one cannot ask ‘what is your good name?’ as if there is a possibility of a bad name. He said “’what is your name’ is enough”. The professor continued “similar is the case of the word ‘hardly’, which means ‘not’. The visitor says ‘I am listening hardly to you’ and it means that he was not listening to the other at all”.
Prof. commented on his use of ‘you are asked’ and ‘you are called upon’. He said “both were almost orders and therefore were impolite”.
There was an explanation asked for the question of ‘put in my papers’ a phrase used by the visitor. The professor said “it is a phrase which means ‘resignation’. Similarly, ‘assimilated’ is not a correct word, what the visitor really meant was ‘understood’. He tried to use a big word which was inappropriate though the meaning could be applicable. His singular use after one was also incorrect because he was saying ‘one of the paper’. It ought to be ‘one of the papers’ because there are many from which one is referred to. Therefore, every time anyone uses ‘one of the’ it has to be many after that. Hence only a plural can be used”.
The professor added without any question from any of the students “the use of the word ‘best’ can refer only to refer to one. Therefore, stating that both of them are ‘best at work’ is not acceptable because best is always about the top one and it could be only one”.
He continued “the visitor is also describing the time as 12.00 p.m. ‘12’ can only be either noon or night. It cannot be ‘p.m.’ or ‘a.m.’ His use of ‘brother-in-laws’ does not make a plural. The plural usage is ‘brothers-in-law’”.
Many people, the professor explained, use phrases like four wheeler and two wheeler. In fact, the actual word should be ‘car’ instead of ‘four wheeler’ and ‘bike’ instead of ‘two wheeler’.
‘He explained more “‘colour’ is to be said by its name and not by using the word colour attached to it. Hence, if necessary, it can only be ‘yellow paint’ and not ‘yellow colour’. Also, the colour cannot be ‘brilliant’, it can only be bright”.
A large number of people use this phrase ‘thank you so much’, said the professor. He added in fun, ‘the statement would be alright’ provided one shows with one’s hand the size of the ‘thank you’. It can only be either ‘thank you’ or ‘thank you very much’, the latter is with an amount of respect. The usage of ‘so’ needs a compliment or an explanation after its use.
The professor said “many people do not make a difference between ‘house’ and ‘home’, indeed the latter refers to not only the building but also the people in it including possible equipment and furniture. Also, ‘I will have my dinner’ may mean that one possesses the dinner and may not mean that one consumes. Therefore, the actual phrase should be ‘I will eat my dinner’”.
There was this addition from the professor “it is not lift, it is elevator that takes people up and down. ‘Many many thanks’ has to be changed into ‘very many thanks’ or even simply ‘thanks’. People do not ‘walk down’ or ‘walk up’ steps, they only ‘descend’ or ‘climb’. Also, one doesn’t say ‘good night’ because one is moving away. It could only be ‘good bye or good day’. Good night can be said only at night while parting away”.
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Prof. Sunney Tharappan, is Director of College for Leadership and HRD, Mangaluru. He trains and writes and lives in Mangaluru.
Next week – ‘Needs and Possibilities’