Anyone who remembers the opening credits of the 1989 rom-com Look Who’s Talking might recall the slightly bizarre scene of sperm racing to fertilize an egg. While that memory had long slipped away, it resurfaced unexpectedly when my eight-year-old asked, “What are they?” while watching the same sequence.
Caught off guard, I replied with a casual, “Umm, I have no idea.” But the question lingered, and I couldn’t shake the feeling I’d handled it poorly. What should I have said? And why was I so eager to avoid such a natural question?
Sex educator Milly Evans points out that many parents feel uncomfortable talking about such topics due to embarrassment or a lack of knowledge themselves. Having grown up in a family that ran a sex toy business, Milly’s approach is one of openness, addressing questions as they come up in everyday settings. She suggests a “little and often” method, where discussions about bodily autonomy and relationships start early and evolve naturally over time, rather than one big, uncomfortable “birds and the bees” talk.
Kerry Wolstenholme, a relationship and sex educator, agrees. She encourages a child-led approach, suggesting parents take a moment to prepare their answers thoughtfully when difficult questions arise. Kerry recalls a time when her eight-year-old asked how a baby got into her tummy. Rather than giving a detailed response, Kerry provided an age-appropriate explanation about the basic process of fertilization without going into explicit details.
The key advice? Approach these conversations with confidence and adapt your answers to your child’s age and curiosity level. Make sure you understand why they’re asking—sometimes they may have heard something that has confused or worried them. And while these discussions are important at home, it’s also crucial to stay informed about what’s being taught in schools.
In Wales, comprehensive relationships and sex education (RSE) is mandatory for all students, while in England, it is part of the broader relationships, sex, and health education (RSHE) curriculum. Schools must ensure age-appropriate discussions that respect students’ backgrounds and needs.
By keeping these conversations open and honest, parents can help build a foundation of trust, enabling kids to feel comfortable discussing these topics as they grow.
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