Filmmaker and choreographer Farah Khan has opened up about the challenges that come with her straightforward nature, her evolving approach to friendships, and the dynamics of her marriage with director-editor Shirish Kunder. Speaking to tennis star Sania Mirza on her YouTube show Serving It Up With Sania, Farah offered candid insights into how honesty, fame and personal boundaries shape her relationships both inside and outside the film industry.
The conversation touched upon several aspects of Farah’s personal and professional life, including the pressures that come with public scrutiny, her comfort with ageing, and how she and Kunder balance contrasting personalities in a long-term marriage.
‘I don’t need to speak the truth all the time’
Farah is known for her quick wit and unfiltered humour, but she admitted that growing older has made her rethink how bluntness affects those closest to her.
“Sometimes I tend to offend some of my friends, and I am realising as I grow older that I don’t need to tell them the truth all the time,” she said.
She added that some friends within the film world have become increasingly sensitive or selective in how they receive criticism, prompting her to adjust her communication style.
The filmmaker, who has built long-standing relationships in the industry, said she now prefers maintaining peace over offering unsolicited honesty. She emphasised that maturity has taught her to draw boundaries instead of reacting impulsively.
Navigating social differences in marriage
Farah also shared how her marriage to Shirish Kunder, whom she wed in 2004, evolved over the years as the couple learned to balance their differing social temperaments.
“In the beginning, it was very challenging. We used to have a lot of fights when I would force him to come out with me,” she recalled.
Farah said that while she enjoyed attending industry events and social gatherings, Kunder was more reserved and preferred quieter environments. Their disagreement often stemmed from the pressure she felt to bring him along and from his discomfort with being in the spotlight.
Public attention created uncomfortable situations
One of the key stress points, Farah revealed, was how the film fraternity and the public reacted to them at events.
She explained that people tended to focus only on her, often overlooking her husband in conversations or interactions. This, she said, made both of them uncomfortable.
Farah noted that it is a common social behaviour for attention to gravitate toward the more publicly recognised person at a gathering. “People will always focus on the person who is more successful at that moment,” she said, adding that this tendency sometimes resulted in Kunder being unintentionally sidelined.
To restore balance, the couple mutually decided that Kunder would skip events or gatherings where he felt uneasy. “I want him to be happy and at peace,” Farah said, emphasising how mutual understanding has played a crucial role in strengthening their marriage.
Why the couple avoids red-carpet displays
Another interesting insight Farah shared was about the couple’s choice to avoid typical public affection or red-carpet displays that are common among celebrity couples.
“We know we are secure in our marriage and we don’t need to hold hands on the red carpet,” she said.
She also hinted that overly demonstrative gestures by some couples may be more performative than genuine.
Their relationship, she said, is built on trust, individuality and a clear understanding of each other’s comfort zones. Farah believes that preserving personal space has been vital in sustaining a long and stable marriage.
A marriage built on understanding and individuality
Farah and Shirish Kunder, who welcomed triplets in 2008, have been together for more than two decades. Farah’s candid reflections offered a rare glimpse into how the couple balances fame, personality differences and personal privacy.
While Farah is outspoken and socially active, Kunder prefers a quieter, more private lifestyle. The filmmaker said their success as a couple comes from respecting these differences rather than trying to change each other.
The conversation also highlighted Farah’s broader perspective on ageing, friendships and adapting to life’s evolving demands. For fans, the interview offered a blend of honesty, humour and heartfelt reflections — all trademarks of Farah Khan’s persona.