Actor Vijay Varma has opened up about a difficult and deeply personal chapter of his life, revealing that he battled severe depression and anxiety during the Covid-19 lockdown. Speaking on Rhea Chakraborty’s podcast Chapter 2, the actor said the emotional collapse came after years of silently carrying unresolved trauma from his childhood and early career struggles. At the height of his breakdown, he said he would cry for hours at a time and could not bring himself to move for days.
Early emotional weight
Varma spoke about growing up around a father who, in his words, was “flamboyant, short-tempered and unpredictable”. As a child, he admired him, but as he grew older, the relationship started to strain. He felt pressure to follow expectations laid out for him, and that mismatch turned into resentment and emotional distance.
By his teenage years, Varma decided to leave home and pursue acting, even though his father wasn’t supportive of the idea. While he eventually built a career he is now celebrated for, he said the guilt of leaving his family and the fear of failing stayed with him for years. Those feelings never fully went away.
Success did not erase the pain
Though his work in films and web series like Gully Boy, Dahaad, and Mirzapur earned him critical acclaim, Varma said that success did not translate into emotional stability. During the lockdown, when the world slowed down, the emotions he had buried resurfaced.
“I would cry for hours. Sometimes, I would just lie on the couch for four days straight. I couldn’t move. I didn’t know what was happening,” he said, describing the most difficult period of his life.
Ira Khan’s support and the decision to seek help
Varma credited Ira Khan, Aamir Khan’s daughter, for helping him recognise that he needed professional help. Ira suggested he join online workouts and encouraged him to speak to a therapist, gently guiding him into taking his first steps toward healing.
According to Varma, therapy played a crucial role in helping him understand the reasons behind his emotional collapse. His therapist diagnosed him with severe depression and anxiety and recommended treatment to manage symptoms that had been building over time.
Yoga also became an outlet for him. He recalled breaking down during a Surya Namaskar session, saying it felt like years of stored emotion were being released all at once. “I would just collapse and cry,” he said.
Understanding love and fear
Varma reflected on how childhood emotional wounds can influence adult relationships. He said that when a child grows up witnessing instability or emotional unpredictability, love can begin to feel unsafe.
“When you have seen relationships close to you fail, love starts to feel like fear. You become afraid of attachment, afraid of losing, afraid of repeating old pain,” he said, adding that acknowledging this pattern is the first step to breaking it.
Recovery, but not erasure
Though Varma says he has found clarity and emotional grounding now, he made it clear that healing is not a finish line. It is ongoing. He said he continues to work on himself and make room for vulnerability and care, rather than running from uncomfortable emotions.
His openness comes at a time when conversations around mental health in the entertainment industry are gradually becoming more direct and less hidden. Varma’s story highlights how even those who appear successful, confident, and in control can be fighting internal battles that few know about.
Conclusion
By sharing his struggle publicly, Varma adds to the growing voices normalising therapy and emotional honesty. His journey serves as a reminder that seeking help is not weakness—rather, it is a step toward reclaiming one’s life.