Every sibling has argued over the classic mystery: Who do the parents love most? From dramatic accusations of being “the adopted one” to constant complaints about unequal rules, it’s a rivalry that spans generations.
Now, a comprehensive study published in the Psychological Bulletin sheds light on the truth behind favoritism. It reveals that daughters and children with certain personality traits—like responsibility and kindness—often enjoy gentler parenting.
Gender makes a subtle difference
In families studied across the U.S., girls were slightly more likely to receive leniency and warmth. Interestingly, children themselves didn’t always recognize this bias. That means while parents may treat daughters more softly, the kids may not consciously feel it.
Personality plays a key role
Children who are conscientious (organized, responsible) and agreeable (kind, cooperative) are more likely to be treated with patience and affection. Their easygoing nature simply makes parenting smoother—and that likely leads to more positive attention.
This also hints at why daughters might be favored. If girls are generally more likely to show these traits, they may naturally elicit gentler parenting responses.
Birth order offers subtle perks
The study also found that older siblings often receive more freedom, not necessarily because they’re favorites, but due to their perceived maturity. Parents may give them more space, trusting their judgment more than younger siblings.
While this research focuses on U.S. and European families, it’s a solid reminder that parenting is shaped not just by love, but by a child’s temperament, behavior, and even gender.