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Tuesday, December 06 2022
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Phrases to use when children face downfall

know your child
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Listen to the Article narrated by the author:

Parents sacrifice so many things when it comes to their children. In return they expect some desirable behaviours or actions from them. In this process, children as well as parents tend to face many challenges too.

In terms of communication, actions, and behaviours there could be lots of misunderstandings, which can affect the parent-child relationship. Many parents regret after scolding or beating their children. During this process the phrases they use can affect a child’s overall development. Children need parents the most when they tend to fail at something rather than success.

In this background, how can one console or boost children’s energy and help them be resilient in their tasks, say a lot about parenting.

So, let us learn few phrases, which is regretful once said and how could you rephrase it in a positive way.

You are good for nothing v/s I’m proud of you

Children are just like our five fingers in the hand, and not all are alike. You cannot compare them with what they are and what they achieved. So when you see your child finds it difficult to grab the first rank in studies, sports or other events and comes to you, remember they are already in guilt for not meeting your expectations. Hence phrases like you are good for nothing might further make them sad and hurt, therefore please make sure at least you are proud of their participation and convey that. And also don’t forget to discuss about how can they do it better.

You are born to make mistakes v/s Let’s see what can be done

It is normal to keep certain expectations from children. But are they realistic? Can your child fulfill those expectations? When a child does mistakes in homework, class test or even while doing house chores, few parents avoid giving work to their children and they do it instead of their children. By doing these you are taking their chance of learning. Frustration makes everything worst, and phrases such as you are always wrong or you do not know to make things better will badly affect their self-esteem. Instead accept that your child frequently repeats the mistake and allow your child to do things better with time.

Don’t cry like a baby v/s let he/she vent out his/her emotion

Many think that crying is a symbol of weakness. But actually it is one of the finest way of venting out your suppressed emotion without hurting others. When children cry for things that seem to be silly, parents use above phrase. By doing this you are not allowing your child to express the emotion of sadness, anger or frustration. Let them go through the emotions and then feel the calmness. After everything the parents can discuss about how things can be seen in different perspective.

So when children face any hurdles or during their downfalls they actually need positive reassurance from parents. So when parents use negative phrases it affects their overall growth. Since children believe their parents so much that these phrases can go deep as they believe them to be true just like what their parents told about them. So make sure you consciously change your phrases from negative to positive and build self-esteem in your child.

Image by Rudy
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Ramya E.

The author is a counselor and lifeskills trainer who has trained over 2000 students. She holds an M.Sc. in Psychology.

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