On Friday, Rahul Tewatia, scored two sixes of the last two balls of the last over of the match to help Gujarat Titans win a pulsating match, which was surely lost until then. We all learned then that it’s not over till the last over. Not if you are Gujarat Titans. We all knew that. Didn’t we? Those who bet against them, learned this truth the hard way! Betting is illegal anyway so its best stay away!
Meanwhile, a quarter way through the tournament, as the Indian Premier League Points table heated up, Imran Khan, playing for, and captaining the Pakistan Titans, was run out on the penultimate ball of their crucial match, leaving him no choice but to cry conspiracy and lodge a protest after the match; a protest that will not have much impact on the PPL – Pakistan Political League – points table, at least not in these early stages of the league.
It was some deft fielding off the boundary ropes by the Supreme Court, a good throw in over seventy-five yards and a direct hit that caught him short of his crease by just a few inches, despite a desperate dive! His numbers were so poor in the Assembly, that he was looking for outside support much like VP Singh’s government did in 1989 and was hoping that would come in some form or the other. Basically, his problem was bowling fast on a flat track. No traction at all. Injuries were mounting, and the head coach – read Army – refused to back his repeated captaincy gaffes on the field. His was not the team’s strategy, and you can’t do that and hope to win!
In his last desperate cries to his nation that abandoned him, Imran turned toward India, heaping praise on how its government has created and maintained its sovereignty, its foreign policy: how it can still stay non-aligned in an aligned world, a Nehruvian philosophy that is surprisingly not blamed on Nehru, how he was seeking to emulate this India Model but was being prevented from doing so. His Mann Ki Baat. But nobody was listening! Because the batteries of their hearing aids had reversed their polarity!
He even batted for the use of Evms in the next polls in 2023- Pakistan Atmanirbhar EVMs – unknowingly perhaps, given his current situation, which may or may not be a consequence of that bouncer! – this he did in August 2021, even witnessing a demonstration of the same! it is as yet unclear if these Evms have Indian or Chinese components in them, though more likely the latter received through the latter’s Belt and Road Initiative – Use our Road, or we will use our Belt!
Despite his sustained praise for Indian Foreign Policy, he did not utter the K word even once, one must wonder why, and stopped short of praising Indian EVM’s – wonder if he knew something we don’t! However, all his praises of India, its policies and governance, did not earn him an immediate ticket or a visa to India, but he was urged to keep trying – Pakistan’s Opposition leader Maryam Nawaz Sharif on Saturday lashed out at Prime Minister Imran Khan for lavishing praise on India, saying he should go to the neighbouring country if he likes it so much. The same thing so many Indians have been told in reverse when they complained about their treatment in India! Conspiracy indeed!
The way to fight back in a Democracy are polls and Imran offered it to his people – But they couldn’t grab it, because the offer was like those Google Pay Scratch cards that turn up blank after a dozen wipes! it was clear that there is stark difference between polls outside and inside a house. Which is more the house of horrors is hard to say! In Pakistan, nobody wanted a poll outside the assembly only within it! All they wanted was to switch pockets and sockets. Pockets carry the plug, and the sockets the power! The question is who controls the relay switch?
Polls and Polarization are the batteries of both the Media and Democracy EVs. They come from the same family of Math Tables – Not multiplication, but Division. Some like the Polar Bear XE, know these tables well – they learn them early in school – and repeat them ad nauseam. Some use them when confronted with a question of performance, some when they want to unite rather than divide! Unite one, not / against another = Division!
The Polar Bear is their mascot. They are a threatened species in the Artic, but not in the tropicals! Here they have mutated and are called Polar Bear XE! Now the tropical’s top predators, polar bear XEs are a powerful symbol of the strength and endurance of the Tropicals. Can find them everywhere and they are not a threatened species anymore, having mutated well, but threaten other species that can’t mutate, only masticate, and choke on their choices!
The original Polar Bears are considered talented swimmers and can sustain a pace of six miles per hour by paddling with their front paws and holding their hind legs flat like a rudder. They have a thick layer of body fat and a water-repellent coat that insulates them from the frigid air and water. Polar bears spend over 50% of their time hunting for food. The XE Versions are similar. They have adapted well! This can be empirically proved by reading the newspapers!
In order to sustain each other both in forward and reverse modes, Polls and Polarization, must have the right tools, and these have been provided to them on a Sizzler platter. Seduction and Sedition. Seduction and Sedition go hand in hand, and maybe even further in a poll. They are also tools of Democracy and governance. They are multi-faceted tools like the Swiss Knife!
There is so much good purposefulness in these two tools. One is designed to attract citizens to a cause, the other is designed to subtract citizens from opposing the very same cause! Normally there is balance. But this balance has to be calibrated often by the weights and measures department. I guess this does not happen often enough perhaps because the calibration tools have become rusty and the SOP musty! Restoring the balance is a tricky chemical affair – a non-explosive solution is hard to find!
Back to Cricket. It’s the flavour of the season. When there’s grass on the pitch, a captain tends to bowl first to exploit the conditions! Captain Imran followed the norm but found that the pitch dried up pretty quickly. He blamed the groundsmen, his coach, his support staff, his fielders, except himself. But he bowled his heart out, bouncers and all and yet couldn’t make inroads into the opposition. Now all he can do is hope that his team bats well when the covers come off, and he gets a chance at a second innings to set things right.
Well, that would depend on the pitch staying true! It hardly does. But an older ball does help reverse swing! But a straight drive can still be effective, if you step out of your crease!
Enjoy your IPL. Don’t bet against the Gujarat Titans. Don’t Bet. Period!
Disclaimer
This Article is written in the lighter vein. It hopes to bring a smile to your face, and you must not ascribe motives to its contents. There is no connection to events and characters in real life and if perchance you find a connect with any such real-life event or character, rest assured its purely coincidental.
