News Karnataka
Thursday, February 22 2024
Brian's Subtle Humour

While Cheetahs were extinct but now extant, Cheatahs never were!

Photo Credit : Facebook

Where Cheetahs were once extinct in India (Since 1952 I believe), they are now extant! If you visit the Kuno National Park in Madhya Pradesh, you may get a glimpse of them if they are not mating as is envisaged. As soon as they arrived at the Park, on a Cheetah faced flight from Namibia (Approx. 11 hours – imagine being locked up with Cheetahs for that long), they were shot and captured…. luckily by a Nikon. Those will never be extinct ever! 8 of them, not just pictures (pictures were many more), but the real Cheetahs, 5 females and 3 males aged between 4 and 6 years are now supposed to ensure that their bloodline continues. Earlier too they tried, but then their bloodline was more like a dripping blood line as you will soon find out if you read on! Wonder if the Cheetahs were told they were going to India or were they cheated into it? Anyway, they are Cheetahs, they won’t mind.

Indeed, the sex ratio of the newly arrived Cheetahs seems skewed when compared to humans in India! 950 females to every 1000 males. And we still don’t have a problem with our bloodlines! But then, maybe the reverse is what is necessary in the Animal Kingdom to keep pace with our population growth! There is no uniform code that can be applied.

Polygamy is encouraged! And it must be because the cost of Jet fuel has gone through the roof! And who knows the ways of Animals? The ways of human beings we are all too familiar with! Sometimes we say they are behaving like animals, not knowing their ways. If only they could read social media…

But the good news is that they are relaxed and getting familiar with their new surroundings. All this is not a wild story, but one based on facts from the wild, news reports, and pictures.

But why did become they extinct in the first place? Because of the Killing Instinct which you could say is a basic instinct as depicted in the movie by the same name! Often, we say of people in whispers – they lack the killer instinct! It’s not true. Else how would the Cheetahs be extinct? That’s my question!

Let me quote from Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia.

“Cheetahs in India were declared extinct in 1952. (Rajat Ghai (3 March 2022). “Cheetahs in India: New cats on the block”. Down To Earth. Retrieved 1 August 2022.) Extensive hunting and habitat loss was the main reason for their extirpation. (“From extinction to reintroduction: A brief history of India’s tryst with the cheetah”. First Post. 7 January 2022. Retrieved 1 August 2022.)”

Part of the reintroduction process is the identification and restoration of their former grassland scrub forest habitats – some of which have been taken over by Cheatahs for their habitat. It’s a bad habit the Cheatahs have cultivated, even stopping cultivation to develop a good habitat and calling the development by that name!

So, Cheetahs were extinct, and are now extant! Cheers. Reminds me that, in the past Indians used to go to Africa to make a living, now African Cheetahs are here to create life! What goes around comes around – that’s the way the Earth functions around the Sun!

Speaking of habits and habitats, if you have been following events of the past few weeks, then you will know a good business to invest in when you see it – in the news.

It’s not an app – like Byjus which lost Rs. 12.5 Crore every day in 2021 according to news reports, or any of the other unicorns, whose single horn blows loud and clear before investment, but grows shorter and quieter after investment – but in manufacturing – something that we all are being encouraged to invest in – of Bulldozers.

Unfortunately, the companies that make them are as yet unlisted public companies, but that may soon change, given the demand – not for construction, but destruction! It’s Carpe Diem time! and new companies are getting into the fray to seize the opportunity based on FOMO – Fear of losing out!

From the houses of alleged rapists to the houses of alleged rioters to the houses of alleged encroachers of Lakes and storm-water drains, the alleged houses are being demolished by alleged bulldozers, while they are dozing! Houses I say, because homes cannot be destroyed! They are where the heart is, and not just a roof over the head! Of course, they are being noticed, i.e., notices are issued for illegality that was not legally noticed before, whether by oversight or lack it is hard to say! But it is quite noticeable after an event! It’s the fault of the event manager, we presume.

They – the bulldozers – had stormed the drains to construct on them and now they are storming them to destruct them. The scope for their use is widening with every passing day. They are even crafting special implements to attach to the same machine, like drills, and other frills, that remove value rather than add value! Because that is what the market needs. Too much value is being locked up in flooded drains.

But it’s not only residences, roads too, those just concretized, that have to be dug up, and as soon as they are re-laid, which may not be as soon as they are dug up, have to be dug up again! So, the scope is wide, and the prospects for the industry if we can Atmanirbharta it, are tremendous. And I’m sure we can; Startups are building Missile Engines, guns, and the like, what’s a bulldozer? Gotta be bullish on it!

The recent trend is that if you have a couple of machines, you can even get a retainer fee for them, as they will be needed in a hurry one day or the other, not so much for construction, but destruction. So, it’s a good business option. Don’t take my word for it, Encroach, and see!

But some elude the bulldozer. Cheatahs for example. You thought they were an extinct breed? Well, never will they be. Because they know the art of self-preservation. They migrate to cooler climes and cool their heels until time heals or they wheel and deal their way out of crime. And their houses are not a part of the demolition drive. For they may also own the bulldozers! They are a different class; besides, they have assets that need to be amortized to cover backsides on fire! But there is another kind of Cheatah lurking about. The one that gives permissions, signs on the dotted lines, or E Signs after he receives signs to do so. They too are assets of a different kind, valuable for their inputs, throughput, and their output!

Cheatahs don’t need a conservation plan. They need flights out of the country rather than in! They live by the laws of the jungle and the jungle lives by theirs. Now, which jungle are we talking about is the question!

In the end, it’s all about habits and habitats. Good habits can make for good habitats and extinct Cheatahs! But that’s not our basic instinct, right?

Think about it, bout with it, until next week!


This Article is written in a lighter vein with tongue-in-cheek. It hopes to bring a smile to your face, and you must not ascribe motives to its contents. There is no connection to events and characters in real life and if perchance you find a connection with any real-life event or character, rest assured it’s purely coincidental or just a mirage!

Photo by Sammy Wong on Unsplash

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Brian Fernandes

Brian is an alumnus of Roshni Nilaya’s Post Graduate School of Social Work, HR Department and has 30 years of local and international HR and General Management experience. Journalism, poetry, and feature writing is a passion which he is now able to pursue at will. Additionally, he loves compering and hosting talk shows. He loves learning and imparting it; so, when time permits, he provides leadership facilitation and soft skills training to Postgraduate students and Corporates in Mangaluru and Bengaluru. Besides, he is an accomplished Toastmaster under the aegis of and a designated Distinguished Toast Master.

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