Supermom’s the word. At least it was on Mother’s Day! May 14. On the Second Sunday of May every year, it is the most used and celebrated word. The word of the day, so to say! And a Day for the word. Mom! And no Minutes Of that Meeting, please. It’s personal!
It’s the one day we “may” have said Thank you, Mum. After all she does for us, her children. All that she was born to do, some would say. Conceive, Incubate, Birth, Nurture, and love beyond self-love, the concept touted by Psychologists to bring happiness to individuals and families as a by-product of the original, these days!
But mum is not the word on that day, even if it is on the days that precede and follow! Much as it is not face-to-face or eye-to-eye because it is easier to text ready-made GIFs, Pics and Avatars than go cheek to jowl, a thought well expressed is as important in this day of virtual Social connections as it was in the days of Inkwells! Well, it is the digital age, and those who age with grace are those who age with the times, not with the Times (“Financial” or “of India” in their hand!)
The terms “dad” and “mom” are traditionally associated with specific parental roles based on gender. But gender has gone through a bender, and a blender, if I may say so; the traditional roles now have holes in them, which the other gender tries to fill. That’s a good thing – for one it promotes equity (the equality of opportunity to parent and be an impact player as in IPL if the game situation so demands) if not equality – Men still can’t give birth, but with AI we can’t predict the future and must not. That would be sexist on our part!
Biologically only females can conceive and give birth to a child. And it’s also Psychological because only women can bear the pain? So logically, men can’t! The men often cannot even stand in the labour room, but testimonies say that this is because they cannot see a loved one undergo so much pain for another loved one (even if it’s theirs); because it is one that has yet to be loved!
But if Dads can be Moms, what will change in the world? That is a troubling question, for moms because motherhood then will be non-exclusive, unlike TV Rights to the IPL! But given how men handle the world economy; would it be an innovative idea even for AI to consider? I guess we will know soon enough.
But there is progress in the right direction! There are families with same-sex parents, single parents, adoptive parents, and other diverse family configurations. Ultimately, the roles of a dad or a mom are not solely determined by biological factors though they may be more than partially influenced by Psychological and Illogical factors! What truly matters in parenting is the emotional support, guidance, and love that a caregiver provides to their child, regardless of their gender identity. And rest assured, it won’t change that!
In any case, every child’s experience is unique, and their view of the world is shaped by a combination of factors, including their relationships, experiences, and the values instilled by their caregivers whoever and whatever gender they may be!
Illogically perhaps, the ability to bear children does not, more frequently nowadays, equal a desire to do so, for a variety of reasons – from objective to subjective. Moms, like individuals in general, may have distinct reasons for wanting to become mothers or not wanting to be! To be or not to be, is now not just a Shakespearean dilemma! And when – this is an altogether new dimension of the dilemma, given the demands of their ever-changing circumstances.
Motivations vary! For those desirous of being mothers, there is, of course, the love and nurturing instinct, and the Biological drive – these are deeply embedded in the MOM DNA. Then Abraham Maslow takes over and the desire for personal fulfilment and of course Familial and Societal Expectations hold sway while Legacy and Continuity are not far behind!
And for those not desirous of motherhood, a perfectly valid option in this digital age, unlike in previous eras, it is often, a personal lifestyle choice. There are too many distractions and things to consider such as career, personal goals, or relationships. Motherhood may not sync with these aspirations and in fact, might even stymie them. Or they may just not have the maternal instinct. One may influence the other, but they are not co-dependent.
A lack of desire for motherhood may also be dictated by their circumstances. These could include health issues, financial considerations, or a lack of support networks. And last but not least could be the apprehensions of parenting challenges themselves! Time, effort, money, and re-distribution of their self-love, among others. These dimension takes on an ominous character when bolstered by their own negative experiences of childhood or the negative experiences of motherhood of others, these are many, and there is no dearth of sharing in this respect – in person and on social media!
Supermoms exceed expectations of the premiere of the new Superman Movie in the minds of everyone every time. Because everyone has experienced their powers, not just the bad guys! She is equality personified, and she knows all about equity (equal opportunity, and you make what you will of it): ask her children.
Supermoms have so many skills, HR Managers, on World HR Day (today) are spoilt for choice, and yet organizations do not employ them as much as they should. Nor are they elected in enough numbers to make a difference in our lives as they do in our homes, or in the homes of those elected to govern! Maybe we just like it that way – as the saying goes, “We are like this only!”
And so, naturally, Mother’s Day is the perfect occasion to celebrate the incredible superpowers of moms everywhere. From the ability to find a lost sock in the Bermuda Triangle of laundry to the skill of cooking a gourmet meal while simultaneously refereeing a sibling wrestling match, mothers truly possess magical abilities. But let’s not forget the challenges they face navigating the treacherous territory of diaper explosions, surviving sleepless nights with a smile, and single-handedly transforming into a superhero whenever the sound of a crying baby is heard. They can be firm, fair, and lovely, beyond the tube of that cream that commands such respect in the Indian Market!
While it’s a day to celebrate, it’s also a day to actually say a big Thank you. We can and must say it every day, or every night before we sleep because the woods are dark and deep, and she has done the miles, so we can sleep. But if not every day, let’s at least make the effort on this day next year. Me time is what she longs for, but once she is mother, she is gracious and magnanimous to give you your me time, while she hovers in the background sacrificing hers!
So, let’s celebrate what we must, whenever and however we can – but with love, not as a duty. Because moms don’t do what they do out of a sense of duty, but with love.
Cheers Mom and Thank You!
Photo by Liv Bruce on Unsplash
Disclaimer
This Article is written in a lighter vein. It hopes to bring a smile to your face, and you must not ascribe motives to its contents. There is no connection to events and characters in real life and if perchance you find a connect with any such real-life event or character, rest assured its purely coincidental.
