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Sunday, September 26 2021

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Parenting style: Does it affect your child’s behavior?

Parenting is not at all easy. It is not a practice rather a daily learning process. Parents do not influence the children but also they evolve as a productive role model. This process involves a lot of introspection about themselves, patience, time and financial management.

Even after this process, they can’t be perfect parents; but definitely a real one. These are few tagline sentences every counsellor gets to hear from most of the parents: “My child doesn’t listen to me; doesn’t discuss school errands at home; incomplete homework unless it’s being frequently told or checked.” So it’s not always a child’s mistake rather a reciprocal one.

Having told that parenting is everyday learning, there is a parenting style or more than one parenting style parents adopt consciously or unconsciously. Here below we will check on various parenting styles and its effects on children

The Rule Maker Parent

Stimulus: These parents make strict rules and enforce with little regard for a child’s opinion. Communication is one-sided,rules and consequences of breaking the rules most of the time ends with punishment. Exceptions are always high and parents are mostly non-flexible in nature

Response: Parents use punishment to discipline the child’s behaviour. The child feels sorry for his/her mistake instead of how to make a better choice. As a result, the child develops low self-esteem. Sometimes to avoid punishment, he/she might say a lie or hides important matters (school grades, PTA meetings) from parents. Aggression and adjustment problems are quite common as they model their parent’s behaviour.

The Easy Go Parent

Stimulus: These parents are very responsive to child’s emotional needs but they don’t set limits or are very inconsistent in enforcing boundaries. These friend-like parents make communication open but let children decide for themselves rather than giving direction.

Response: As a result of no rules, having no strict discipline style these children face extreme freedom that make them struggle in academic performance. They exhibit behavioural problems as they don’t appreciate disciplinary rules at school. This style affects on child’s health (obesity, addiction) as they have no limit in food intake.

By the Child, To the Child, For the Child-Parent

Stimulus:These parents invest time and energy into preventing behavioural problem before it starts. They also use positive discipline strategies to reinforce good behaviours like praise and reward. Punishment is not often physical. They set realistic and achievable expectations.

Response: Children tend to be good at making decisions and evaluating safety risks on their own.The awareness about fine and not fine behaviours and the logic behind them promotes their reasoning skill.

By inculcating proper parenting strategy it’s quite easy to develop self-discipline, values, and life skills among children. Thus every parent can contribute to giving a good citizen to the country. Parents try different styles over their growing up years in order to discipline their children. However, each style has its own boundaries.

Image by Mabel Amber, who will one day

Ramya E.

The author is a counselor and lifeskills trainer who has trained over 2000 students. She holds an M.Sc. in Psychology.

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