“Laughter is an instant vacation.” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue- in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)
Forget about eating Indian beef (that’s a no-no since some time now for a variety of reasons, mainly the fear of those providing it) unless you are an NRI – it’s available in plenty abroad wherever you are…on a platter even. You also can’t make a pig of yourself or act like a fruitcake, as Pork and Fruits are also off the nutritionist’s dietary chart currently. Even thoughts of the aam aadmi (Mango people according to one vicariously famous personality – the one who loves providing hospitality under the skylight!) eating mangoes in this, the mango season, has already been ‘Nipah’ed in the bud. Now milk and veggies may also disappear from your diet – at least for the next ten days.
Farmers across India are set to go on a 10-day strike from June 1. The Rashtriya Kisan Mahasangh with 130 organisations under its belt, is going hit us below ours. It called for a strike from June 1. Farmers will not take to the roads this time in the 10-day strike, the organizers stressed. Instead, they will simply not supply milk and vegetables to markets. City-dwellers can buy directly from the villages if they choose to, according to the organizers – they could go around in their swanky cars to pick up their requirements but the prohibitive cost of petrol and diesel could act as a disincentive. The organization’s demands are for a one-time loan waiver, higher minimum support prices and higher prices for their produce – All demands with good intent, and certainly those that can be met from the income derived from taxation on petrol and diesel, but there are other priorities at present – like statues, advertisements and the Bullet Train.
Despite the farmers’ strike and the monsoon clouds, there may be a silver lining for your stomach. A key farmer federation with 193 organisations under its protective umbrella, during this monsoon season, is staying away. So maybe you still have a chance to stay vegetarian – else your only choice may be chicken or fish. Fish? Not on the western coast as the fishing ban is already in place – it is breeding time (for the fish, the humans are doing it enough) and besides, with monsoon winds lashing the waves, it is dangerous for the fishermen to venture out to sea. So, for the next ten days, your choices are limited to eggs for milk and Chicken for Veggies. Prayers (not the sacrifice of a chicken) can help prevent an outbreak of H1N1, which if it does occur, may turn you into a cannibal!
Speaking of farmers, a couple of weeks ago, the Chief Minister of Telangana in a bid to become the No.1 CM, and lead the race to become the PM in 2019 (I’ll come to that next!), introduced a scheme for farmers, sorry, agricultural land owners in Telangana. He called it Rytha Bandhu a catchy name for Farmers’ Investment Support Scheme (FISS) which basically is a welfare program to support a farmer’s investment to produce two crops a year. The scheme involves the annual distribution of Rs: 12000 Crores to 58 lakh farmers at Rs: 8000 per acre of land owned. Tenant farmers are excluded. (It doesn’t matter whether the land is agriculturally productive, or whether they themselves are tilling the land – all they have to do is own it?). Wonderful idea to generate 232 Lakh votes (58 Lakh x 4), kudos. Money is not a problem – it will come from the state taxes on the diesel they use to sow and harvest the crops! Amid this schematic euphoria, the CM knew that it is not sufficient if it is done, it must be seen to be done – like justice. So he did justice to the concept. The first cheques under the scheme went to almost all south Indian editions of national and regional newspapers – they featured full front page colour ads announcing his unique initiative! ‘Appy FISS! I say.
At 4, the government can still be considered to be in the UKG, but like in all Kindergartens today, the pressure on performance is high and there is a lot of focus on the child’s report card. The Govt. cannot be seen to be lagging behind and brought out its own self certified Report Card (Not the official Delhi University one). (The teachers from previous year’s classes had a different view). Based on this report card, it hopes to be promoted to Class 1 next year. However there is an entrance exam in which it will have to secure a high percentile to get a seat (at least 273 are required) in the class and competition for the 543 seats available is getting fiercer by the day. Besides the as the exam is being conducted by EC and not the CBSE, the question paper is unlikely to leak…
So let’s move to the debate about a new PM in May 2019that’s doing the rounds of TV Channels, Op-eds, and social media and… fake news. New Karnataka, New India are passé after the ruling dispensation came out badly from the recently concluded by-elections where they scored 2 out of 15 (it seemed more like Bye election result for them, their single party majority in the LS is also a cause of concern for them) and were out manoeuvred in Government formation in Karnataka after the recently concluded elections there threw up a hung assembly – After all a hung assembly and a hung constitution are two different things and a futile attempt was made to marry the two.
The question the fractured opposition that came together as one for the bye polls (pun intended) is asking is how can you have a new India without a new PM – you need new ideas, new vision, and…..a new slogan.Slogans win elections. They say that the 2014 winning slogan, “Sabkahaath, SabkaVikas” is outdated because time has proved that SabkaHaathnahihai, andSabkaVikasnahihua. However, the ruling dispensation is of the opinion that you don’t need a new PM (He’s the best), just a new sloganand they have coined one accordingly – ‘SaafNiyat, SahiVikas’ (Clean intent, right development) according to a Hindustan Times report. It is unclear if they meant right or right wing development which indeed has developed quite well! Overall a good slogan, but whether it will emotionally grab the goose that lays the golden egg is hard to say though the intent may be clean….. and right!
International Politics is even more interesting. A 92 year old, Mahathir Mohammed became a Prime Minister in Malaysia against all odds. In India he would have been salted away in the Margadarhshak Mandal, an important senior think tank that is not allowed to voice their thoughts – they remain in the tank! The first thing he did as PM was cancel a high speed rail link project between Kaula Lumpur and Singapore – something like a bullet train… Elsewhere in the world but close by, Kim acted dim, when he criticised the US Vice President in the run up to what is being touted as World’s most important meeting. This prompted Trump to tell him to lump it, but Pompeo, trying hard not to be pompous, stepped in and salvaged it. So they will meet, greet and probably eat (though their culinary tastes are different, I’m sure).Kim is not dim and surely he will not denude his nukes, without a quid pro Quo. Asylum in the US perhaps? The general one, not the mental one. Just asking.
Last Word: Enough of politics. Let’s talk about something or someone more heart-warming – a tea seller, not in Delhi, but in Cuttack. People touch his feet now that he was mentioned in the PM’s Mann ki Baat on May 27. Who? D Prakash Rao, a Cuttack-based tea seller.
His is an inspiring story – Starting at the mere age of 6, Rao has been selling tea for the past 54 years.Due to financial problems, he was not able to continue studies after class five despite getting a distinction.However, Rao accepted this as a challenge and today he lives his dream, nurturing the lives of 70-75 slum children in a school he has set up. He is part teacher, part tea seller and now a part doctor too, helping patients at a hospital in his free time, something which I am sure he has very little of, given his activity list. There are over 70 students studying in his school at present he says. But the money to fund all of this, comes not from taxes but his hard work. “I earn Rs 600 per day during off season and around Rs 700-800 in season time. So, money is not an issue. I want to see these children become something in future.” His only advertisement for the good work he did, came from the PM on radio.
On this heart-warming note, I wish you a happy weekend (happy hours not included) and a great week ahead. See you next week.
The author may be contacted at brian@newskarnakaka.com
