News Karnataka
Wednesday, April 24 2024

NK Satire: The Week that was – 19 to 25 Nov 2017

Photo Credit :

It’s another weekend folks! We all have had a long and tiring week. It’s time to put our feet up and relax. We need to laugh more and not take life too seriously. There’s time for seriousness on Monday. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s a tongue in cheek look at the events of the week that was…

The hen that lays the golden egg is no longer unique, and poultry farmers are rejoicing as egg prices soar. Indeed, I heard that poultry farmers have now begun communicating with their hens to persuade them to lay their eggs every alternate day rather than every day, even as the term ‘henpecked’ assumes a whole new meaning!

My eyes well up before I break it for my daily dose of protein – something I used to do mechanically in the past! But then I must be paying the price, metaphorically speaking, for breaking too many when they were 50 paisa each. That might have been a long time ago, but interestingly neither the shape, size nor colour of the egg has changed with time- It’s still oval, palm sized and white! So what has? Maybe the inside? Yes, there you have it! The inside has changed from yellow to Gold! Oh My! What’s in store for us? Certainly not the egg. But there’s always a silver lining – we’ll never end up with egg on our face! Can’t afford it!

As things stand, the TV channels would have you believe that the nation doesn’t want to know about egg prices, nor farmers problems, for there was neither mention nor debate on either one even as thousands of farmers gathered at the Ramlila Maidan in New Delhi early in the week for a common cause – a one-time complete waiver of farmer loans and fair prices (Minimum support Price mechanism) for their produce. They didn’t even get to see a TV camera or crew. It was like the channels had adopted a minimum shut up price!

On the other hand, the lesser aspects of our democracy as we know it, played out in full media glare at the Imphal airport when a passenger’s flight departure was deliberately delayed for the arrival of the President’s flight. The passenger pleaded and then argued with the Minister of Tourism, present and awaiting his arrival, but to no avail – the pecking order must prevail, as it has prevailed since our independence, was the answer. It was not yet time for Parivartan! Incidentally, the Bolsheviks in Russia too promised a peoples revolution, but when doing so they didn’t mention it was for some of the people like the politburo!

Meanwhile in Karnataka, some people are rallying for change! Following the demonetization and digitalization of cash transactions, it’s probably important otherwise we may land up with eggs in our pockets. Eclairs have lost their value. So that at least is about to change. Maybe the rally will change more than change itself.

What a wonderful couple Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip, the Duke of Edinburgh make – They are the brand ambassadors for their Royal House of Windsor and more importantly, the universal institution of marriage, an institution that has long being corrupted by issues of fidelity, compatibility, multiplicity, duplicity and homogeneity! They have stuck together for 70 years through thick and kin and an aging eternal wannabe king! Like a real Queen, Queen Elizabeth II has remained dignified through upheavals in her family, and Prince Phillip, like the royal stock he hails from – he was born Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark – like most husbands in modern day marriages, stood steadfastly by her side, as she took important decisions, quietly smiling at her jokes, lending his hand for support and generally being chivalrous and indulgent as she hogged the limelight by right. Incidentally, his grandparents were Mountbattens! Ring a bell? Great, Wise Roy!

Kings and Queens, whether divine descendants or political ascendants, produce Princes. Modern day princes are mostly political, because the monarchy has metamorphosed into a democratic political dynasty – now that’s a brain twister! Repeat it ten times quickly in your head! A long awaited announcement about the elevation of one such prince, brought all and sundry to the television screen, with more questions than answers, more derision than appreciation and more wonderment than acceptance except from the prince himself. He was busy patching up breaking alliances in Gujarat, going hammer and tongs at the central government and generally going about his business. Even his tweeter Pidi remained silent on the subject! Trick or treat?

We often forget that Queens are also women, and the world has a lot to learn from how we honour our women, for we do it in the most unique way – We stage protests to protect the honour of one we have never seen, either in person or on the big screen, only heard or read about, and by threatening to chop off the nose of another! How this extends the honour of a woman is mystical in more ways than one, just like our land! Maybe it’s some form of democracy – of a woman, for a woman, by a man! Indeed the new normal has progressed so much that it is now gender neutral, just as our constitution says all laws must be – choppers will be applied to all raised fingers, irrespective of the gender – so mind it said Quick Gun Murugan! Maybe choppers are freely available now that illegal slaughter is banned!

In faraway Zimbabwe, a dictator did what he does best, dictate….his resignation! He possibly even looked up the dictionary before doing so, because for 37 years and counting, he did not have the word in his vocabulary! Fighting from the bush and relishing a palace, fighting a perceived oppressor and becoming one himself, asking a nation to worship a civil war hero and expecting the same people to worship the love of his life, are dichotomies that a nation and his bush mates could not or refused to comprehend. This lack of comprehension extended to his steno, and his dictation had to come to a stop with one last letter and it was in English, not French!

Closer to home, the Karnataka legislative assembly voted as one to clear the Karnataka Private Medical Establishment’s Act after the Doctors of the state gave it a powerful but painful injection. The cleared bill, given its ills and chills, was dipped in saline to make it sterile and had all its glucose drained, before it was discharged – ironically without a bill – as per the Act, the Government absorbed the costs! Meanwhile in North India, another bill was being raised, not by a government, but by a private medical establishment – it was an infection free itemised sanitized bill – 660 injections and 2700 gloves were used according it, including one to hand it over, lest infection rather than money should change hands! So, like for any medicine, there are contraindications, and how they will affect the patient is not clear at the time of treatment, but the writing is on the wall – and unlike a doctor’s prescription this writing is easily readable!

Have a great weekend!

Share this:
Brian Fernandes

Brian is an alumnus of Roshni Nilaya’s Post Graduate School of Social Work, HR Department and has 30 years of local and international HR and General Management experience. Journalism, poetry, and feature writing is a passion which he is now able to pursue at will. Additionally, he loves compering and hosting talk shows. He loves learning and imparting it; so, when time permits, he provides leadership facilitation and soft skills training to Postgraduate students and Corporates in Mangaluru and Bengaluru. Besides, he is an accomplished Toastmaster under the aegis of and a designated Distinguished Toast Master.

Read More Articles
Support NewsKarnataka's quality independent journalism with a small contribution.

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
Nktv Live

To get the latest news on WhatsApp