“Laughter is an instant vacation.” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue- in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)
The biggest event of the week for those in cities and television studios (death and destruction in Kasganj and an 8 month old baby’s rape notwithstanding) was the presentation of the budget. Aptly named bud-get, it is a document that lays out a road map to get the maximum for the government whose appetite for its citizen’s money has only grown (like its size) since time immemorial. Despite the constraints of the squeezed, no government has lived within its means and lived to tell the tale and that is the back story of the fiscal deficit.
After the budget presentation, the socio-economic divide went beyond the normal caste and religious divide, and entered the realm of class! The ruling classes were a happy lot, even as the middle classes were not after the FM opened his brief case in Parliament – The President, Vice President and the Governors were given a pay hike, this after the Judiciary received a similar benefit last week, while the MP’s were promised an automatic inflation linked hike every five years – so there you have it: the government will ensure that there is a steady inflationary pressure on the economy – to benefit themselves!
The Finance Minister also promised to spend more of our money on Health, (of the poor) (beating Karnataka’s CM to the finish line in this game of Monopoly), gas (for the poor), MSP for the farmers and Infrastructure but promised nothing in return to those who actually pay for his largesse – the 3% tax payers of the Country. Ah I forgot, that’s not how it works. Sharing is caring and it’s all about the greater good… of the ruling party.
Jobs I asked. What about jobs? What did you say, was the retort. Can’t you understand that they will come with growth (7.5%) and investment in Infrastructure and MSMEs. For e.g. Pakoda making is now considered an MSME and a reduced tax rate of 25% is applicable because its turnover is less than Rs. 250 crore. It is an employee owned enterprise that generates employment for one directly and so many indirectly! Oh yes. What a duffer I am.
The Budget also made one thing clear – The finances are a cess-pool. Unable to add to the cess pool through indirect taxes, now that GST is in place, it is now the turn of direct taxes to get a taste of the pool – The education cess was raised from 3% to 4% and there will be no cleaning up this cess pool until it stinks enough.
Quickly forgotten by television channels, Padmavaat made waves on the big screen – wherever it was screened. Even as the ‘some people’s court’ overruled the Supreme Court and achieved their objective of a ban in four states, Padmaavat made a killing (pun intended) in the rest of the states! But a rioter will forget how to riot, if he does not do it often enough, and those who organize such events will be similarly bereft of an art form… and so Kasganj. Kasganj is the new R Word – Republic my friend Republic, not Riot – Because that’s what caused the riots there. The NPAs of Vote Banks seem to be on the decline since May 2014. Like the rising NPAs of Nationalised banks, it does not augur well for the republic – or does it? Who can say but the EVM?
There is however a lesson to be learnt from Kasganj. Through Make in India and Start up India, the Central Government hopes to introduce the corporate culture in all forms of public endeavour – but this corporate culture is limited to the proprietorship type, their favourite form of ownership – from celebrating the nation, its flag, its armed forces, its freedoms and sovereignty and even its government and governance. No shareholders or stakeholders are allowed or tolerated under these flagship schemes.
The definition of Benami according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary: made, held, done, or transacted in the name of (another person)). That’s what Shah Rukh Khan and all actors do for a living – on the screen, portraying another man’s life! But being accused of doing it in real life took the cake and unfortunately, the house with it! According to reports in the media, the now a days very active IT Department attached SRK’s Alibaug Farm house as being benami property! He has 90 days to claim it back with a satisfactory explanation. The Alibaug farmhouse, supposedly built for farming purposes on agricultural land, has a swimming pool for agricultural purposes of course – those who till the land must keep themselves relaxed and fit!
Trump’s first state of the Uniom (Union) (sorry about that but, that’s how it was spelt on the ticket printed for the event by the House Sergeant at Arms, not on Twitter mind you) address was a fitness trainer’s delight. I watched it on television and discovered a new form of Zumba. US Congressmen and their guests must have lost a of couple of pounds at least as they stood up and applauded and then sat down in silence more than a 100 times over the course of his speech! Every next sentence was a stand up and sit down moment! Even Melania participated happily in the work out even though she has no need to do it! Their palms, elbows and shoulders too had a work out, as once they stood up, they had no choice but to applaud. Our parliamentarians can perhaps take a leaf out of Congress’s (not our nation’s Congress, which is likely to disappear according to the ruling party) fitness regimen – but then they have their own fitness regimen – running to the well of the house and staying put!
Towards the end of the week the Gandhi Scion attended a rock concert in poll bound Meghalaya suitably attired – in Denims and a jacket to promote his party’s prospects in the poll. However, despite his charismatic presence, it was his jacket that received all the attention he was craving on behalf of his party. It was appropriate for the occasion of course – it was a rock concert after all and he had to protect himself if rocks were thrown! Unfortunately it was a Burberry, and for once apparently not made in Thailand. It is quite possible that he wore it to auction it and raise funds for his beleaguered party after the concert, but dropped the idea later on when he discovered it was gifted to him.
Karnataka’s assembly polls are approaching – most reports say they will be held in April 2018. Newspapers quoted sources in the Election Commission as saying that it will cost upwards of Rs 500 Crore just to find (not even fund) a government. Despite this knowledge, the people of Karnataka appear to be eagerly awaiting a new government and with it a ‘New’ Karnataka – if attendance at rallies, speeches and assertions in advertisements are anything to go by – A new Karnataka with a new flag and higher (much higher) paid civil service employees, but with the same drought stricken districts in the north and polluted lakes in the south. Interestingly building a ‘New’ Karnataka is the dream goal of the same aging people who built the ‘Old’ Karnataka.
But the veterans do keep abreast of what’s new! So there is still hope for a ‘New’ Karnataka. In order to help the rural youth of Karnataka find a suitable government on Instagram, the state Government has in this election year decided to provide “free last mile connectivity (1 GB per month to every user within 1 sqkm of the service provider)” to them at the gram panchayat level (2650 gram panchayats). They also hope to generate employment opportunities. The signal seems strong, but the connection weak.
Have a good weekend!
